Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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