i don't like sucking hair
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
