Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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