why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
