I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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