i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
