I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She's the barista slut.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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