What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
