whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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