At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
