We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize