whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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