it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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