he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize