So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
