So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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