She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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