Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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