she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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