he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize