It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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