i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
