i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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