that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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