he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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