she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
