did you get engaged???
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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