Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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