Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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