Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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