I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
