chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
