I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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