Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
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mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
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I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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