yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We need to rekindle our bromance
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
