If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize