Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
