i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
