You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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