do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
