Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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