STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
