i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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