I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
