I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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