I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
