How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
