Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My liver just broke up with me...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
