In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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