I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
