All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
