every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
