I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
