I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We need to rekindle our bromance
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
