That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
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