There was a lot of him and a little penis
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
