I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
