...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize