He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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