Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
