We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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